MATTHEW HEARING, SCOTLAND YARD
Absolute surprise and pleasure to meet you and your entourage today when I answered bail at Charing Cross Police station.
Thank you for applying new restrictions on my personal freedom. I must say your idea of protesting at the Olympic Torch relay was inspired though you did stretch credulity when you placed a condition on my ‘entering the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead (this covers Royal events and Henley regatta and is not time specific).
My name is not Trenton Oldfield and if I was seen swimming in the Thames I’d have a Japanese whaling fleet nudging my tail fin and Greenpeace activists on the river bank in case I got harpooned. Rest assured, I ain’t going all David Walliams for anyone.
However, I must express disappointment at your dropping the restriction on my ‘going within 100 yards of the Olympic Torch Relay’. Given…
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